Cup of Coffee: June 23, 2021

Good morning! It's a weird week for me, as I’m going to be out on Friday, so I decided that instead of Free Thursday, I’m doin’ Free Wednesday:

Welcome, friends.

Yesterday MLB tweeted this:

They did not explain it, but I can only assume it meant that pitchers will soon be mooning fans on the regular as a result of them basically taking their pants off whenever the umpires comes to check them for foreign substances. Max Scherzer did it (though, as explained below he was understandably irked). So too did Sergio Romo.

I feel that by this weekend we’re gonna get some full bare ass from some pitcher with the red ass over this. Great job everyone.

There’s a lot besides that to get to today too, though, so let’s stop the chatter and just get to it.

And That Happened

Here are the scores, here are the highlights:

Nationals 3, Phillies 2: Max Scherzer was inspected for the use of foreign substances three times during his five innings on the mound. The first two, after the first and third innings, were apparently part of the new umpire-driven normal. The third inspection was instigated by Phillies manager Joe Girardi after Scherzer struck out Alec Bohm.

Scherzer had nearly hit Bohm with a ball he later said had gotten away from and, before and after completing the strikeout, he was rubbing his neck and hair, he said, in order to try to get some sweat to mix with rosin to get a grip on the ball. Girardi was pointing animatedly, asking ump Tim Timmons to check Scherzer. Scherzer was HOT, dramatically tossing his hat and glove on the field and going to unbuckle his pants.

A couple of innings later, as Scherzer marched off the mound for what he knew would be the end of his night, he glared at the Phillies dugout, gesturing with his cap as if to say “I’m clean!” That got both dugouts barking at each other. Girardi’s barking was such that was ejected from the game. After the game Scherzer said this:

It’s worth remembering that Scherzer is one of the two top MLBPA player-leaders at the moment. Also worth remembering that the new foreign substance rule says that, while opposing managers can request spot checks of pitchers, they are prohibited from doing so in bad faith, with bad faith defined as “a request intended to disrupt the pitcher in a critical game situation, a routine request that is not based on observable evidence, etc.”

Girardi said he had cause, claiming that he had never seen Scherzer go to his hair or his neck like that. Scherzer scoffed at that, saying he would’ve been a fool to use anything the FIRST game he pitched since the crackdown started, implying that, yeah, it was bad faith. Given that Scherzer has been cited in a lot of media reports as one of the players most known for use of sticky stuff, he’s probably right about that. I have no idea what Girardi was thinking but I lean on the side of it being bad faith gamesmanship and an effort to mess up Scherzer’s rhythm. Seems like the wrong guy to do that too, though. I mean, I don’t THINK a big leaguer will ever actually murder an opposing manager on the field, but if it does ever happen, BetMGM probably has Scherzer as the current favorite to do so.

As for the game, Yan Gomes drove in three. Max Scherzer allowed one over five and struck out eight. He also had his lowest spin rate on his slider in five years and lowest spin rate on his fastball in around a year. Make of that what you will.

Athletics 13, Rangers 6: The A’s built a 7-0 lead after two and a 9-0 lead after three. Matt Chapman and Ramón Laureano hit two-run home runs in the first two innings. Laureano, Mark Canha and Elvis Andrus each had three hits and the A's had 15 hits in all, snapping a three-game losing streak.

Scherzer wasn't the only pitcher who wasn't happy with being checked by umpires last night. Athletics reliever Sergio Romo was visibly agitated when he was inspected at the end of the seventh inning of Oakland's game against the Texas Rangers, undoing his belt and throwing it to the ground when he was approached by the umpire. After the game Bob Melvin said “He's a playful guy. I don't think he meant anything by it . . . that won't happen again.” Romo had just given up a homer, so he was probably more pissed than playful, but whatever.

Royals 6, Yankees 5: It was close heading into the eighth, with New York leading 3-2, but Kansas City rallied for four runs that inning thanks to three RBI singles and a fielder’s choice. One of the singles came from Ed O’Hearn, who had earlier homered in the game. That homer came off of Gerrit Cole, another of MLB’s Most Wanted when it comes to the sticky stuff. Cole was still effective — he allowed two runs over seven — but he only struck out six and his spin rates were WAY down. Like “Gerrit Cole with the Pirates” down.

Reds 10, Twins 7: The Reds bullpen blew a five-run lead in the eighth, allowing the Twins to tie it up. But then Tyler Naquin, who went 4-for-4 on the afternoon, hit a three-run homer that broke the tie in the ninth and gave Cincinnati the win. Just before that homer, Nick Castellanos hit a double off of Twins pitcher Hansel Robles. When he got to second he mocked Robles’ exaggerated leg hesitation in his windup:

Immature? Maybe. But it rattled Robles, who hit the next batter he faced and then gave up that three-run shot to Naquin. Sometimes immature works.

Pirates 6, White Sox 3: The Pirates blew a 2-0 lead when Yasmani Grandal hit a three-run homer in the seventh. You’d expect a team like Pittsburgh to fold after that but they didn’t, rallying back with four runs in the bottom half of the seventh, thanks in part to an Erik González two-run single. That sent the White Sox to their fifth straight loss. The Pirates, meanwhile, have won three of four. Look at them go.

Astros 3, Orioles 1: Zack Greinke allowed one run while pitching into the eighth and was backed by Myles Straw, who hit a solo homer and singled in a run. Nine wins in a row for the surging Astros.

Atlanta 3, Mets 0: Charlie Morton allowed only one hit over seven shutout innings while picking up his 100th career win. A three-run homer from Dansby Swanson was all the scoring necessary. The story here, though, was Mets starter Marcus Stroman leaving after one inning with a sore hip. His manager said he landed funny on a pitch and “sort of hyperextended it a bit.” He’ll undergo some testing. The Mets really, really, really, do not need another pitcher injury at the moment.

Red Sox 9, Rays 5: Wander Franco made his big league debut and, at least from a personal perspective, it went well, as he hit a three-run homer, doubled, drew a walk, and scored twice. Check out both the homer and the reaction from his dad filming the homer:

Pretty good odds that his dad is younger than I am, by the way, which is fairly sobering.

Still, the Rays lost again — that’s seven straight — as Rafael Devers hit a two-run double during Boston's four-run 11th inning to take it.

Tigers 8, Cardinals 2: Jonathan Schoop and Jake Rogers each drove in three runs and Detroit put up a six-run fourth inning. Cardinals starter Johan Oviedo took the loss, allowing six runs — two earned — on six hits and three walks in fewer than four innings. Don’t cry for him re: those unearned runs, though, as it was his own throwing error which helped fuel Detroit's big inning.

Blue Jays 2, Marlins 1: Sandy Alcantara took a loss in his last outing despite allowing only one unearned run while pitching into the ninth. Here he took the no decision and his team lost despite him allowing only one run over eight. Poor guy. His only run support was a Jesús Sánchez homer. His only blemish was a Vlad Guerrero RBI single in the sixth. Yimi García came in in the ninth, though, gave up a double to Cavan Biggio, and then a double to Lourdes Gurriel Jr. and taking the loss.

Cubs 7, Cleveland 1: Kyle Hendricks pitched six shutout innings to win his eighth straight start and Kris Bryant, Willson Contreras and Patrick Wisdom each homered. Hendricks started off the year slowly, featuring an ERA north of six as late as early May, but it’s now down to 3.84 and he’s tied for the big league lead in wins with 10.

Giants 5, Angels 0: Anthony DeSclafani allowed only three hits in seven shutout frames while the Giants scored all five of their runs before the end of the second inning. Wilmer Flores and Maurici Dubón went deep. The Giants have won seven of eight, have the best record in the majors at 47-26, and hold a three-game lead over the Dodgers.

Brewers 5, Diamondbacks 0: Freddy Peralta struck out ten dudes in six one-hit shutout innings and the Milwaukee pen allowed only one more hit in the final three innings. Kolton Wong and Christian Yelich each homered. Dan Vogelbach severely strained his hamstring going from second to third on Omar Navárez single but the Dbacks fielders didn’t pay any attention to him as he hobbled around, Vogelbach noticed them not noticing him and he hobbled home to score:

Dear God.

Padres 3, Dodgers 2: Blake Snell shut out the Dodgers for five while Jake Cronenworth hit a two-run homer and Kim Ha-seong hit a solo shot off of Clayton Kershaw. The Dodgers threatened a couple of times late, including in the ninth, but the Padres defense held on for their third straight victory against Los Angeles this season and their sixth win in a row overall.

Mariners 2, Rockies 1: Shed Long Jr. hit a homer in the eighth to break a 1-1 tie and give the M’s the win. He hit a walkoff grand slam in the 10th inning on Sunday. Not a bad couple of games for the guy. Have you been critical of Shed Long Jr. in the past? Well then, I’m gonna have to ask you to get off the shed.

The Daily Briefing

Wander Franco is here to make you feel old

I mentioned the other day that the just-called-up Wander Franco of the Tampa Bay Rays is young. “Born in 2001” young. But that still didn’t prepare me for this answer in his Q&A at MLB.com:

Manny Machado and José Ramírez are 28 years old.

Former Dodgers outfielder Andrew Toles, diagnosed with schizophrenia, under his father’s care

Outfielder Andrew Toles played three seasons with the Dodgers, hitting .286/.333/.459 in 96 games. He was a standout in the 2016 NLCS against the Cubs, going 6-for-13 and scoring four runs. He has been on the team’s restricted list, however, since he failing to report for spring training before the 2019 season. It was not initially clear what the issue was. “Personal problems” were cited, but that’s a term used to describe all manner of things in baseball.

Last year Toles was arrested after police found him sleeping behind a FedEx facility at the Key West International Airport. Deputies said that they arrested him after giving him several chances to leave the area. The arrest report indicated that Toles was homeless at the time of the arrest, listing his current address as “the streets of Key West.” It became clear to the public at that point that Toles was fighting a considerable personal battle.

Over the weekend Toles’ family spoke with Bob Nightengale of USA Today about his ongoing struggle and explained what has been going on. Toles has been diagnosed with schizophrenia and, after more than a dozen stints in hospitals and mental health facilities, many from which he walked away, Toles has been placed in the custody of his father in Fairburn, Georgia. His family describes him as “zombie-like” and say “he’s not really living, but just floating." They do not know if he’ll get any better, “but, at least, we're not worrying whether he's alive,” his sister, Morgan Toles, said.

This is just a horrible situation, both for Toles and his family, but thank goodness there is at least some stability in his life right now.

Toronto’s Manoah suspended five games

Toronto Blue Jays pitcher Alek Manoah was handed a five-game suspension and an undisclosed fine for intentionally throwing at Maikel Franco in the bottom of the fourth inning of Saturday’s game against the Baltimore Orioles. And yeah, it was intentional. It came after the O’s hit a couple of homers. It was a retaliation pitch.

Manoah has appealed his suspension, so the discipline will be held in abeyance until the process is complete. Blue Jays manager Charlie Montoyo got a one-game suspension for it and since managers cannot appeal suspensions, he served it last night.

The Cardinals call up a Triple-A outfielder with a Hall of Fame name

Yesterday the Cardinals called up outfielder Lars Nootbaar.

Lars Nootbaar.

The Cards need an offensive boost and he was hitting .329/.430/.557 with five home runs and 17 RBI in 79 at-bats in Triple-A, but I’m pretty sure that he was called up because his name is literally Lars Nootbaar.

LARS NOOTBAAR.

Other Stuff

Say it Ain’t Contagious

The latest episode of our sports/politics/culture podcast, Say it Ain’t Contagious, is out. This week the gang (without me as I had stuff I was doing) spoke with José Alamillo, the author of the book “Deportes: The Making of a Sporting Mexican Diaspora,” about Fernandomania and the impact of Fernando Valenzuela when he emerged as baseball's biggest star 40 years ago.

On Larry Householder

Over at Columbus Alive I wrote a column looking back at my time representing Larry Householder, the former Speaker of the House for Ohio who was just booted out of office as a result of his indictment last year in a massive corruption case. I’m not his lawyer now, but I was back in 2004-2006 when he was under a different federal investigation. He skated on that one. The experience, I believe, informed his approach to the current one.

I don’t know what that all amounts to, but as I wrote in the column, it speaks to how politicians are wired. They’re different than you and me.

On Carl Nassib

On Monday defensive lineman Carl Nassib of the Las Vegas Raiders became the first active NFL player to publicly say he is gay. Note: he is not “the first gay NFL player” as a few outlets have said. There have been many, 15 of whom came out after their playing careers, and no doubt scores if not hundreds more who did not reveal their sexual orientation.

I doubt there is anything I can say about this that wouldn’t be better said by many, many others, so all I will say is that, while there is still a long way to go until there is something approaching true equality and acceptance of LGBTQ+ persons in our society — particularly non-white, non-cisgender men — it is nice that we live in a time where even the most historically repressive cultural institutions, such as the NFL, are reacting positively to someone coming out and are perceived as welcoming enough to to the someone in question to do so safely.

More on heroes

In an interview in Variety last week, the creators of the HBO Max adult animated series “Harley Quinn” revealed that a scene depicting Batman performing oral sex on Catwoman was blocked by DC Entertainment because “heroes don't do that.” We talked about that a bit here because, duh, obviously we’re gonna talk about that.

Now the experts are weighing in. The expert in question: NPR’s Glen Weldon who has written tow books on superheroes, one about Batman, the other about Superman. He knows his stuff here, and I’d say that even if he wasn’t a fellow Amtrak Writer’s Resident and thus subject to the Amtrak Writer’s Residency Ride or Die Code. Which is something I just made up.

Anyway, Weldon has an NPR feature regarding Batman’s preferences when it comes to going downtown, and it’s full of great insights about how all of this works. Meaning corporations’ protection of valuable superhero intellectual property, not how oral sex works. If you don’t know about that, Weldon is probably not gonna help you. Anyway:

That does, indeed, seem like a problem some mere animators aren’t gonna be able to lick.

“We don’t rent to attorneys, law students, or paralegals”

Because this guy locked his account as soon as he realized he was gonna become Twitter’s Main Character that day, I do not know what led him to brag to strangers about how the little real estate fiefdom he manages here in Columbus aggressively selects against renters who know their legal rights, but thankfully someone saved it all for posterity:

For what it’s worth, it’s totally legal to do this. “Attorneys, law students, or paralegals” is not a protected class or anything. To be sure, if I were him I’d be wary about denying housing to attorneys, law students, or paralegals of color, attorneys, law students, or paralegals of a certain age, attorneys, law students, or paralegals who are gay, attorneys, law students, or paralegals who are women, attorneys, law students, or paralegals who belong to a religious group, attorneys, law students, or paralegals who have children, attorneys, law students, or paralegals who are unmarried but cohabitating, and attorneys, law students, or paralegals who are disabled, but if he can navigate that minefield and prove in a court of law that it was solely the person’s status within the legal profession which caused their rental application to be rejected, hey, that’s great! It’s just as valid to do this as it is for an employer to hold up a sign that says long-haired freaky people need not apply.” But yeah, my homeboy here had better be sure.

All that said, it seems like a really bad advertisement for your management company to let it be known that keeping people out who may be more likely to know their rights and to fight back against landlords who violate tenants’ right is something you consider a top priority. It may, for example, cause people to ask things like “why?”

Anyway, the boy wonder landlord here is a co-owner in this company. If you are an attorney, law student, or paralegal who feels like testing someone’s stated basis for housing discrimination, they seem like a good company to test.

Great Moments in Class Action Lawsuits

If you engage in enough commerce in this world you’ll eventually get a letter or an email saying that you’ve been identified as the member of a class in a class action lawsuit. You will then have the option of either (a) remaining in the class and being part of whatever settlement is reached; or (b) opting out of the class and suing yourself. You will almost always, actively — or passively in the event you assumed the email was spam — remain in the class and, at some point claim your bounty.

Your bounty, of course, will almost always be meager, such as a coupon for a certain amount off whatever service or product that formed the basis of the lawsuit or a very, very small amount of money which is almost not worth the hassle of claiming. The lawyers representing the named plaintiff in the class action, of course, will make boatloads of money. The defendant will likely continue to perpetrate whatever wrong they were perpetrating because, really, what kind of deterrent against bad behavior is a few bucks and some coupons?

I mention all of that because recently I was identified as a class member arising out of some illegal fee that was being charged to people who rented cars at the San Diego airport. Which, during the period specified in the lawsuit, I probably did five times. On Monday night I was notified of my bounty:

What should I do with my windfall, guys?

Have a great day, everyone.