Cup of Coffee: May 23, 2024

Good morning! And welcome to Free Thursday!

Let’s get to it, shall we my friends?

And That Happened 

Here are the scores. Here are the highlights:

Twins 3, Nationals 2: Carlos Correa homered and flashed some leather and Max Kepler went deep as well. Play of the game, though, was Twins reliever Steven Okert riding the Nationals' bullpen cart into the game and tipping his driver $5. That’s just class, man.

Guardians 6, Mets 3: The Mets blew an early 3-0 lead thanks to Andrés Giménez hitting a three-run jack in the sixth and Johnathan Rodriguez singled home the go-ahead run in the seventh. Two more RBI doubles in the eighth more than sealed it. Rodriguez played the hero in another way as well:

The Mets have lost three in a row, five of six, and drop to seven games below .500.

Cardinals 3, Orioles 1; Cardinals 5, Orioles 4: They resumed the suspended game from Tuesday, and the Cardinals quickly took control there, with Nolan Gorman homering and driving in all three St. Louis runs. Lance Lynn pitched Tuesday and was awarded with the win on Wednesday. Great Moments in delayed gratification. The game that was scheduled for yesterday had a rain delay in the middle of it but they got it in. And the Cards won that too, sweeping the Orioles. It was the first time the O’s have been swept since early in the 2022 season. That was 106 series, which constituted the third-longest such streak in baseball history. The Cardinals, meanwhile, have won eight of their last 10 games.

Angels 2, Astros 1: Angels starter Tyler Anderson went eight innings, allowing just one run. Kyren Paris hit a two-run homer in the top of the fifth, his first ever in the big leagues. Mauricio Dubón doubled in a run in the bottom of the fifth. Two is more than one so the Angels won, taking two of three from Houston.

Royals 8, Tigers 3: Cole Ragans went six shutout innings, allowing only one hit — and then not until the sixth — and striking out 12. The win completed a three-game sweep. Indeed, the Royals won all six games of their six-game homestand. And not only did they win all six games of their six-game homestand, they did not trail for a single inning in those six games. Somethin’ special is going on in Kansas City of late.

Marlins 1, Brewers 0: Jesús Luzardo shut Milwaukee out for eight, making a first innings Jazz Chisholm Jr. homer stand up. Don’t tell anyone, but the Marlins have won seven of ten. They’re not making the playoffs or anything, but if I were Skip Schumaker I’d quietly, without the press knowing it, make running down the Mets for fourth place and the Nats for third place my medium-term goal. They trail those teams by five and five and a half, respectively.

Padres 7, Reds 3: Luis Arraez went 4-for-5 with a leadoff home run and two RBI. The Padres scored four runs on five hits in the fifth to seal it. Per the gamer, “After being shut out in consecutive games including the second game of Monday’s doubleheader in Atlanta, [Mike] Shildt allowed the players a later arrival time to the ballpark on Wednesday.” Of all of the cities to be given more leisure time, Shildt picks Cincinnati. Which, no offense to my Queen City readers, but I’m guessing it’s near the bottom of MLB towns in terms of fun ways to spend a few extra hours.

Phillies 11, Rangers 4: Bryce Harper and J.T. Realmuto hit solo homers and Edmundo Sosa hit a three-run shot. Realmuto had three RBI in all. Alec Bohm hit a two-run double. The Phillies are 36-14, which is their best start over 50 games in franchise history and the best start over 50 games for any team since the 116-win 2001 Seattle Mariners, who began 38-12. Asked about that after the game, manager Rob Thomson asked rhetorically, “What'd they do?" When told that they lost in the ALCS, he said “That's right. So you've got to keep going. You've got to keep grinding, keep pushing all the way through.” Which I know a manager has to say at this point in the season — and which is absolutely correct — but I do hope he’s actually enjoying this and isn’t being one of those “anything short of total victory is failure guys.”

Red Sox 8, Rays 5: Wilyer Abreu and Connor Wong both drove in two, Rob Refsnyder had a tie-breaking RBI single in a five-run fifth, and Brayan Bello wasn’t great but he was good enough to help Boston complete the sweep. The Red Sox had not played well in Tropicana Field of late, having lost 15 of their previous 16 games there, but this trip was much more pleasant.

Atlanta 9, Cubs 2: Max Fried went the distance, retiring the first 15 batters he faced and allowing just an unearned run on three hits while striking out nine. After the game he said “Tonight I wanted to make a point of emphasis to go after hitters, get early contact and be a little bit more of the aggressor rather than trying to make a perfect pitch on the corners.” All of you know my feelings on guys trying to perfectly execute each pitch as opposed to having an overall game plan and approach so thank you, Max, I’m all for that kind of business. Marcell Ozuna, Matt Olson and Adam Duvall homered.

Giants 9, Pirates 5: Pittsburgh led 5-0 after four and 5-3 heading into the eighth. The Giants plated one in the eighth and one in the ninth to force extras and went crazy in the tenth, with three RBI singles and a sac fly to seal it. Afterwards, Bob Melvin said “This was a really big game for us. If we come back and don't win that game, it's almost like losing another really, really, really tough game.” I’d say it would’ve been exactly like losing another really, really, really tough game, but I appreciate the art of understatement.

Yankees 7, Mariners 3: Juan Soto homered twice while Aaron Judge and Alex Verdugo also went deep to help stop the Yankees’ mini-skid. Nestor Cortes tossed five scoreless. The AP gamer referred to him as “Nelson Cortes,” which is totally the sort of thing I’d do if this was the first recap I wrote at 5am, so I’m not judging. Actually, I’m much bigger on using the wrong first names for the sons of retired players when I’m not fully awake yet. My still sleepy brain just autopilots to the old guys. Like, I’m sure I’ve called Daulton Varsho “Gary” before, even though Gary last played in 1995.

Blue Jays 9, White Sox 2: Gary Varsho . . .’s son reached base three times and drove in two and Dante Bichette . . .’s son homered and drove in three as a seven-run second inning ended this one before it began. Chris Bassitt allowed five hits in a season-high seven shutout innings. The Jays have won three of four.

Rockies 4, Athletics 3: The Rockies scored two in the first via a two-run homer from Elias Díaz and bookended it with two in the 12th via a two-run homer from Ryan McMahon. Colorado snaps a four-game losing streak.

Diamondbacks 6, Dodgers 0: Christian Walker and Ketel Marte homered and Ryne Nelson threw five shutout innings to take two of three from the Dodgers. It was the Dbacks first series win in Dodger Stadium in over six years.

The Daily Briefing

Hal Steinbrenner pleads poverty

The Yankees are having a pretty damn great season so far. They have one of the best records in baseball and sit in first place in an extremely competitive AL East. This despite not having a healthy Gerrit Cole available. What’s more, their big offseason acquisition, Juan Soto, is raking and despite being a Scott Boras client in his walk year, has said that he likes it in New York and would be willing to discuss a long-term contract extension. The Yankees clubhouse seems like a happy place. Yankees fans are as excited as I’ve seen them in years. Everything is coming up pinstripes!

So of course their owner, Hal Steinbrenner, has decided to piss all over that by saying this to a New York Post reporter yesterday at the owners meetings:

Steinbrenner’s use of a subjective word like “sustainable” here is no doubt a calculated one, as it’d be laughable on its face to actually suggest that the New York Yankees are losing money. Assuming the business is not at risk of failure — and again, it’s not even close — what is “sustainable” is a matter of opinion and depends upon one’s priorities. I think a comment like this means that Hal Steinbrenner’s priorities are about maintaining a certain level of profitability, not putting the best baseball team on the field that he can.

To hear this from the owner of the New York Yankees of all teams is a goddamn disgrace.

Xander Bogaerts has a fractured shoulder

Xander Bogaerts hurt his shoulder diving for a ball the other day. At the time the Padres said that initial scans revealed nothing troubling, but that further examinations were gonna happen. Well, they happened, and the news is not good.

Kevin Acee of the San Diego Union-Tribune reported yesterday that Bogaerts has a fracture in his left shoulder. At the moment it does not appear as though he’ll require surgery, but the thinking now is that his return will be “late summer.”

Bogaerts was moved off of shortstop to second base this year. He’s been having a pretty terrible year at the plate, batting a mere .219/.265/.316 (69 OPS+) with four homers. Which doesn’t mean that his absence won’t hurt, of course.

Shohei Ohtani buys a house

The Los Angeles Times reported yesterday that Shohei Ohtnai, once a resident of Newport Beach, has bought a house much closer to Dodger Stadium. It’s in La Cañada Flintridge which, per Google Maps, is about a 20 minute drive to Dodger Stadium in typical early afternoon weekday traffic. The place cost him $7.85 million. What a bargain. And it sounds nice enough:

The best part is that he bought it from Adam Carolla, who purchased it in 2018, but is selling it because he’s getting a divorce. Which, shocker. It’s also great because Carolla, for those of you who haven’t followed his exploits since he was last relevant like 20 years ago, has turned into your standard late-middle aged conservative jackass who makes his money yakking for right wing media outlets and likes to talk about how immigrants are ruining the country.

Welp, Adam, an immigrant just bought the house you can’t afford anymore, so maybe go process that in your new man cave.

Other Stuff

Kicking out the Tories in 3 . . . 2 . . .

News from across the pond:

I’ve always said that the Fourth of July is a good day to declare the end of the rule of British tyrants.

Also: why in the hell did Sunak give this presser in the pouring rain? He looked like an idiot:

There’s probably a metaphor one could apply to this but it’s escaping me.

Quote of the Day: The Rooster explains this gig

I’ve written about the Ohio politics newsletter The Rooster before. It’s run and written by a fellow Columbusite named D.J. Byrnes who, after a rather hilariously failed run for the Ohio Statehouse in a heavily gerrymandered GOP district in 2018, began a far more effective political initiative by writing about the corrupt cretins who run the Buckeye State.

In addition to analysis and opinion, Byrnes makes a point to be on-site at the Ohio Statehouse most days, a GoPro strapped to his chest, confronting our elected officials and others in power in ways that no one else really has before. D.J. is a bare-knuckled, brawling muckraker, the likes of which we need far more of on any number of beats, and he’s a pretty damn funny, entertaining and effective one at that.

Yesterday he ran one of his monthly mailbags. In it he was asked a question about what he’d do with his newsletter if given a blank check to run it. He said that he’d hire multiple more people doing what he does in other Ohio cities. I was particularly struck with the description of the sort of people he’d want for the job, which I lightly edit here to remove the government-specific verbiage in an effort to universalize it:

There used to be people like that in the mainstream media, but they’re all gone now, replaced by people who fetishize objectivity but fundamentally fail to understand that “objectivity” does not preclude one from having a point of view, pointing out the bleeding obvious, and stating that bad things are, in fact, bad. Whatever the case, I cannot recall anyone describing the job of blogger/newsletter writer more perfectly or succinctly than that.

Yeah, there’s a lot of time-wasting, dumb humor, tangents, and other things when you write several thousand words a week. And no, the stuff a lot of us who do what we do for a living write about are not life or death things or, for that matter, as important as stuff like the government. But whatever it is a good blogger/pamphleteer/newsletter writer takes as his or her subject, that’s the job. That’s the thing that describes and motivates me, at least.

As the old saying goes, “The job of the newspaper is to comfort the afflicted and afflict the comfortable.” Newspapers don’t even try to do that anymore, but that doesn’t mean others can’t.

Don’t trip balls while writing, you guys

I believe I mentioned the guy who gave Ohio State University’s commencement speech a couple of weeks ago. Chris Pan, a crypto weirdo — likely chosen because Ohio State’s president is a crypto weirdo — who gave a horrible speech which, it turned out, was written while he was taking psychedelic drugs. The speech was so bad and cringey that it overshadowed the fact that a woman actually friggin’ died at the commencement ceremony.

Pan recently attempted to explain himself and (sorta) apologize for his awful speech. But he is defending his use of psychedelics while writing it. Money quote:

I’m not gonna judge this guy’s or anyone else’s drug use as such because I don’t know him or his life and it’s not my business. But I’ll note that citing (a) a guy whose creativity and his energy stagnated considerably as his drug use intensified; (b) a certified weirdo; and (c) a certified and toxic weirdo whose most lauded accomplishments were actually the work of others and whose own contributions have tended to be horrible, largely because he has addled his brain with drugs, is not super convincing.

Again, I don’t mean to come off as some sort of puritan here. I have a fairly relaxed attitude about drug use in general and tend to take a live-and-let-live approach to such things. While I personally do not use and never have used what most people would consider hard drugs or psychedelics, I drink alcohol and I use cannabis and I’m not trying to pretend that my habits or my morals are any better than anyone else’s.

But as a writer and a self-employed person, I flatly reject the widely held and often repeated notion that drugs or alcohol fuel creativity, creative output, or innovation in any real way.

The history of creative pursuits, be it writing or art or acting or composition, or even invention and entrepreneurship is littered with claims that drugs or alcohol were the key to a given person’s work. But I think that’s almost always horseshit. Maybe Samuel Taylor Coleridge doesn’t begin writing Kubla Khan if the idea didn’t come to him on an opium jag, but it’s also the case that it sat around unfinished and unpublished for 19 years after that moment of inspiration, mostly because he was a drug-addled layabout. His buddy William Wordsworth, who was not an opium addict, was far more prolific and his best work was better and I don’t think that’s all a function of inherent talent, because Coleridge was extraordinarily talented.

There are scores of artists with similar stories to Coleridge’s and the common denominator is almost always one in which whatever drugs or drink may have inspired — and I tend to think such inspiration is wildly overstated, often in the interests of romanticizing the creative process — is greatly outweighed by the hindrance drugs or drink visit upon one’s energy level, work ethic, and more sustainable creative juices.

And yeah, that stuff matters. Ask any truly successful and even arguably prolific artist or innovator and they will tell you to a man or a woman that the work and the diligence is every bit as important if not more important than the initial spark. Going back to the Beatles, Ringo Starr once gave an interview in which he said that while pot or LSD inspired some of the band’s greatest work, if they tried to record the songs those trips inspired while on those trips, the music came out shitty. They’d have to sober up and do the actual work later for it to be of quality. That dynamic, I believe, applies to most creative people.

The Romantic poets. The café culture Parisians. The Lost Generation writers. The Beats. Mid-century actors. New Journalists. The punks. Comedy Boom-era comedians, you name it. They and any number of creative subcultures are strongly associated with drugs and/or alcohol, but the ones who imbibed the most — assuming they survived, and many of them did not — ended up producing the least or the most uneven product. The ones who perfected their craft, who lasted, who grew, and who matured as artists tended to take a more measured approach to substances and tended to pursue their work in more clear-eyed fashion. While it may not be as cool, it’s better to be Tom Wolfe than Hunter S. Thompson. It’s better to be Ian McKellen than Richard Burton.

I won’t for a moment compare myself to real artists of any kind, but I can assure you that any writer who claims to do better work while on something stronger than coffee is probably full of shit. To be sure, I’ve written a number of things — or have at least tried to write a number of things — after one too many drinks or an edible or whatever. But even if I think, in the moment, that I’m cooking with gas, it’s almost always rubbish. Even if it’s not, it usually takes three times as long to get the idea down than it might have otherwise and I’ve probably sacrificed the ability to come up with other ideas in that wasted time as a result. Again, no matter how talented or inspired a person is, the end result is almost always about the work one puts in to realizing that result, and being fucked up prevents one from doing their best work.

I hope that didn’t come off as moralistic or self-righteous or whatever. I didn’t mean it to. But I just get mad when I hear about people who glibly romanticize the creative process and who claim that the key to good creative work is opening one’s mind with substances. To the contrary, if I can give any advice to anyone who seeks to write or create anything, I’d tell them to be as boring and lame as possible in their personal life. To put as much energy and focus into their work as they possibly can and that anything which diminishes one’s energy or focus is detrimental to that process.

Write your story or your poem or your song or your speech with a clear head. You can always eat your mushrooms or drink your laudanum after you’re done.

Whoa

I’ve seen a lot in this world in the over half-century I’ve been alive, and I realize I often come off like a cynic as a result, but my mind continues to be blown by the beauty and wonder of existence every single day.

“Here are your three approved Freedom Colors, Citizen”

Every day for the past eight years I have read something that has made me just stop and stare into middle distance for a while, wondering what the hell has happened to our country. Here was yesterday’s:

It’s only May yet, based on that last sentence alone, Florida has depleted all of its irony stores for the year. Sad.

The State of Florida moved beyond parody ages ago, but the folks in charge there aren’t resting on their laurels. They are not falling into complacency. They keep on putting the fascist work in and I almost respect that on some strange level.

Have a great day everyone.