Cup of Coffee: 12 April, 2024

Good morning!

There are obviously two huge stories to talk about today. The first is the Ippei Mizuhara/Shohei Ohtani case. Ippei was charged with bank fraud yesterday and we got a detailed look at all of the alleged happenings via an IRS agent’s affidavit. If you know anything about me you know that I will spend eleventeen hours with some juicy legal documents if given the chance so, yeah, there’s a lot about that today.

The other big one: the death of O.J. Simpson. Yes, there will be some jokes. Yes there will be some serious reflection on the nature of the crime. Yes, there will be me asserting my belief that he murdered two people. Yes, there will be me arguing that his acquittal was justified, even if I believe it was mistaken. No one in my real life over the past 30 years has ever liked to listen to me thread my tedious needles in connection with the O.J. case, but you all are paying for my opinions so I consider you a captive audience.

Oh, and I also mention Rusty Kuntz, Johnny Dickshot, and Dick Pole today. You know, to keep things light.

Finally: yes, I know the date is backwards above. I will explain why in the comments.

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